Why Telling Someone With Depression to “Get Over It” Doesn’t Work
By Sherolde Hackett, LCSW
Depression Is an Illness, Not a Choice
One of the most harmful phrases people with depression hear is: “Just get over it.” While it may sound simple, depression is not something you can push through with willpower. Depression is an illness — and like any other illness, it requires proper care, treatment, and support.
You wouldn’t tell someone with a broken bone to “just get over it.” The same compassion and seriousness should apply to mental health.
Why “Get Over It” Doesn’t Help
1. Depression Is Complex
Depression is caused by a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Studies show it involves unconscious processes in the brain that are not under someone’s direct control.
2. Symptoms Can Be Debilitating
Depression affects both body and mind. Symptoms may include fatigue, restlessness, nausea, insomnia, sadness, and difficulty concentrating. These are real, physical and emotional experiences that can interfere with daily life.
3. Wishing It Away Isn’t Enough
Wanting to feel better is natural, but wishing alone cannot heal depression. Recovery usually requires professional support — such as therapy, medication, or both.
4. Pretending Doesn’t Work
Society often pressures people with depression to “put on a smile” and act like everything is fine. But unprocessed emotions don’t disappear — the mind keeps replaying them until they’re addressed.
5. Depression Looks Different for Everyone
Depression isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some people can keep up with daily responsibilities while silently struggling. Others may feel immobilized. Each person’s experience — and path to healing — is unique.
How Therapy Helps
Working with a therapist provides:
Validation: A safe space where your pain is acknowledged and taken seriously.
Coping Tools: Evidence-based approaches like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help regulate emotions and process trauma.
Support: Unlike friends or family, a therapist offers objective, nonjudgmental guidance tailored to your needs.
Final Thoughts
Depression is real. It is painful. And it deserves the same level of care as any other illness. You don’t have to go through it alone.
📌 I provide virtual therapy for women in New Jersey and Florida, specializing in depression, anxiety, trauma recovery, and life transitions. Together, we can create a path toward healing and resilience.
